How did I find my IKIGAI?
As a young girl, my family and society told me, "For a smart person like you, it would be a waste to become an artist or an actor. You can do these on the side." As a result, I was advised to study Industrial Design, something that encompasses creativity, arts, and mathematics. "This has a better future for you," they said. So I did, and later I became a jewellery designer.
My father helped me rent a basement in our neighbour's building, and we built my workshop – something my peers dreamt of. I was very fortunate. Back in 2012, I lived in Tehran, and Instagram did not exist (at least not in the way it does now), but Facebook did. Even though it was filtered in Iran, we could use it with a proxy and VPN. My only way of promoting and selling my designs was through my Facebook page. I amassed over 2,000 followers on my page back then, and I was doing quite well considering everything.
Two years passed, and something still didn't feel right. I felt unsatisfied, and this was when I decided to move to the UK to pursue my master's and to immigrate for good. The ceiling in my country was not high enough for me; I had to aim higher.
Throughout all these years, I found myself googling articles, reading magazines and books about "how to overcome..." or "how to successfully..." or "10 ways to achieve X" – all self-help content that I had a thirst for.
I started my career in the media industry, first as a designer and then moved on to presenting and producing TV shows. Yet, I had a chip on my shoulder. I longed for topics about mental balance. I now realize that my instinct for maintaining peace of mind and joy led me to learn ways and acquire tools to create "mental balance".
This was something my friends and family (even though I am the youngest) often sought guidance from me about, or simply wanted to hear me talk about better relationships and communication.
After gaining some popularity through my TV presenting, I found myself giving advice to my followers, and they loved it – and I loved it too. I was good at it, yet I never dared to admit it to myself. I just did it whenever it was asked of me.
I remember in one of my therapy sessions, after I asked her opinion about becoming a therapist, she told me she could totally see that I had a knack for mentoring. This was one of the turning points in my life as a coach. My speculations about becoming a professional in Human Resources received affirmation. Later on, a few other professional coaches and therapists I sought advice from confirmed this about me.
Yes, it took me 33 years to finally have that "AHA moment" and switch career paths to learn about human behaviour, cognition, and mental health. But that's okay. I am there now, on my own journey and the right path.
And today, as I take baby – and sometimes big – steps in my new and exciting path, I can say that I have found my IKIGAI!
Takeaway Points:
To all parents and teachers: Allow your child to follow their instincts. Believe that they will find the right path. Support them through their choices and encourage them at every step. Although today's world is much different from ten years ago, I am aware that today's kids are more in control of their minds and choices. However, they are still kids, and we are adults who have learned our lessons (or at least I hope we have).
Changing career paths is hard and challenging. You will go through self-doubt, blame, regret, and all these negative and damaging thoughts. It can be weird and awkward to acknowledge something in you that might be perceived as "big-headed" or "arrogant". At least, these were the things my mental saboteurs were telling me. But the truth is, we need to trust our guts, our support group, and our coaches and therapists.
Things move forward very slowly. My advice to you is: cherish it. See it as a gift. If we moved towards our goals as quickly as we wanted to (due to our human desire to achieve things faster), it would not work out as we'd hoped. We are fortunate that the reality of life doesn't move as quickly as we would like.
Invest time and money in your mental health and mental balance. The key to peace of mind, and the key to actually enjoying your life – however it may be – is through mental balance.
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