Adulting Feels Like a Scam—Is It Time to Rewrite the Rules?

Nov 28

Once upon a time, we grew up, and for 99% of us, we only learned to handle our problems at home and work by rule of thumb. Sadly, more often than not, this approach is a mix of negative emotions like stress, anger, regret, shame, and guilt. - and we think:

"What’s the point of all this? I’ve done everything I was supposed to—studied hard, got the job, ticked the boxes—but why does it all feel so empty?"
"The system is broken, and I’m just a cog in the machine. No matter what I do, it won’t make a real difference."
"I know I should make changes, but every option feels overwhelming. What if I try something new and it’s even worse than this?"
"Other people seem to handle life just fine. What’s wrong with me that I feel so stuck?"

Well ...

I HAVE GOOD NEWS Y'ALL! (emoji with starred eyes)

It doesn't have to be like that - adulting does not need to be this hard!

I don't mean to brag here

But, ...

I’m no longer held hostage and get crushed by these thoughts. (emoji with sunglasses on)

They don’t weigh me down or derail my life the way they used to.

And I owe that freedom to one thing—mental fitness.

As a certified Positive Intelligence coach and a mental health advisor, please allow me to show you how you can break free too:

Your Brain: A Tale of Two Regions

Recent advancements in functional MRI (fMRI) technology have provided incredible insights into how our brains operate. We now know that different regions of the brain are responsible for the thoughts and emotions that either empower us or sabotage us.

The Sabotaging Region: This part of your brain fuels negative emotions like stress, self-doubt, anger, and procrastination.
The Sage (Beneficial) Region: This is the calm, clear, and positive part of your brain that helps you approach challenges with empathy, curiosity, and creativity.

The good news? You can shift the balance of power between these two regions through a process called neuroplasticity.

Neuroplasticity: The Science of Change

Your brain is made up of neurones, which form connections called synapses. When you repeatedly activate a particular thought or behaviour, the connection between those neurones strengthens, forming what we call a “neural pathway.”

**Old Pathways**: Negative habits formed by the Saboteur region become automatic and habitual over time.
**New Pathways**: Through repetition and practice, you can create new, positive habits that activate the Sage region of your brain.

This is where the Positive Intelligence method shines. Using a simple but powerful 10-second technique called PQ® Reps, you can intercept negative Saboteur responses and train your brain to choose positive Sage responses instead.

The Three Mental Fitness Muscles

Mental fitness isn’t just about insights—it’s about building mental “muscles” through consistent practice. Here are the three key muscles we focus on:

1. Saboteur Interceptor Muscle

What It Does: Helps you identify and discredit the negative thoughts and emotions generated by your Saboteurs. How It Works: When you feel stressed, angry, or overwhelmed, pause and label those emotions as Saboteur lies. Let them go and re-centre yourself.

2. Self-Command Muscle

What It Does: Empowers you to quiet the Saboteur region and activate the Sage region. How It Works: Use 10-second PQ® Reps (short mental exercises) to interrupt negative patterns and shift your brain into Sage mode.

3. Sage Muscle

What It Does: Enables you to tackle challenges with clarity, creativity, and positivity.

How It Works: Once in Sage mode, you access five core powers:

Empathise: Bring compassion to yourself and others.
Explore: Approach problems with curiosity.
Innovate: Generate creative solutions.
Navigate: Align decisions with your values and purpose.
Activate: Take decisive, inspired action.

Measure and Build Your Mental Fitness

Your Positive Intelligence Quotient (PQ®) measures the strength of your positive versus negative mental habits. Take the PQ Score Assessment to discover how often your mind serves you versus sabotages you.

But here’s the catch: Knowing your results isn’t enough. Real transformation requires building new neural pathways and habits through daily practice. That’s where I come in.

How I Help You Build Mental Fitness

Think of me as your mental fitness personal trainer. Just like a physical trainer helps you strengthen your body, I work with you to:

Identify and intercept your Saboteurs.
Strengthen your Sage through daily practices.
Explore your options and set clear goals.
Create lasting, positive change in your life.

Our work together isn’t about quick fixes—it’s about building sustainable habits that empower you to thrive in every area of your life.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

Let’s continue this journey in a free 1:1 meeting. I love human interaction far more than cold DMs, articles or social media posts, and I’m sure you do too!

Book your discovery session with me here.