Things you must discuss before getting married!
When it comes to love and relationships, one of the most common and significant mistakes we make is avoiding discussions about serious and important issues. These are often the very issues that can lead to differences in opinion, whether we acknowledge them consciously or unconsciously.
It's crucial to address these topics before your relationship becomes too serious or official. Reaching an agreement on each of them—even if it's a tentative one—can be immensely beneficial. When I say tentative, I mean that you may not arrive at the most efficient or clearest resolution immediately. What's important is to cultivate a general mindset and assess each other's values and approaches to serious life issues, while also reflecting on your own.
Many people avoid these conversations because they think, "Why assume we will disagree?" or "If we start discussing potential problems now, what does that say about our future?"
If you find yourself in this mindset, it's a sign that you might be avoiding reality, building your life on dreams rather than solid ground.
While dreaming can be enjoyable, it's akin to walking through a dense forest with your eyes closed—inevitably, you'll stumble upon obstacles, whether they be trees, rocks, or wild animals.
Wishing you luck is one thing, but it's likely that at some point, you'll encounter a harsh reality check—a metaphorical collision that could be as jarring as hitting your head on a tree, a mountain, or even the chest of a bear.
It's time to plant your feet firmly on the ground and live in reality. The fact is, each of us is unique. No one else in the world thinks or lives exactly as you do. This uniqueness has many advantages, such as when your positive traits help you get hired. However, nothing in this world is purely positive. Our unique flaws become significant when we enter into relationships with others.
In addition to understanding yourself better, you need to know the other person well. It's essential to find common ground between your desires and differences. This process is crucial when you love someone and want them to be a part of your life. Make sure this person is important to you and that being with them enhances your life.
Here are some critical topics to discuss before marriage:
Finances: How will you handle bills and payments?
Children: Do you want to have children or not?
Parenting Styles: How will you raise your children?
Credit and Debts: What is your financial standing?
Religion: What role will religion play in your life?
Family Relationships: How will you interact with each other's families?
Beliefs and Values: What will you teach and instill in your children?
Personal History: Discuss your childhood traumas and past experiences.
Sexual Expectations: What are your needs and boundaries?
Support: What are your expectations for companionship and support?
Financial Goals: What are your financial expectations and goals?
Health: Share your family health and mental health records.
Dreams and Aspirations: What is your wish list or dream house?
Career and Education: What are your job and educational aspirations?
Political Views: What are your political beliefs and how do they align?
By addressing these topics, you can build a solid foundation for your relationship, ensuring that both partners are on the same page and ready to face life's challenges together.